Songs for a New Diaper

This week’s entry is a song parody I came up with over many diaper changes with my daughter during her first three years.  I discovered that if I sang to her while changing her diaper it helped calm her down and made her wiggle less.  The problem I faced is that most of the songs I knew by heart were from contemporary musicals by Jason Robert Brown, William Finn, Stephen Sondheim and Stephen Schwartz (among others).  While these are all awesome composers, they usually write complex melodies with lyrics that are not very “kid friendly”.

 One day I started singing the opening chorus of Songs for a New World to her, changing the lyrics on the fly to suit the situation. I don’t know if it was because I was amusing myself, but I managed to get a big giggle from my daughter, and our new diaper changing song was born!  Over the course of MANY diaper changes, I was able to flesh it out to a verse and two choruses, which was usually long enough to cover even the messiest changes! 

 So without further adobe, I present to you the lyrics to my recently retired (for now) diaper changing song…

 

SONGS FOR A NEW DIAPER

(Based on “Opening: The New World” from Songs for a New World, with major apologies to Jason Robert Brown!)

A NEW DIAPER WRAPS AROUND YOUR BOTTOM
A NEW DIAPER CLOSES ON THE SIDES
A NEW DIAPER MAKES YOU FEEL MUCH BETTER
IT’S NO LIE, IT’S NO LIE…

IT’S ABOUT ONE DIAPER
IT’S STARTING TO SAG AND STARTING TO DRAG
AND IN THAT ONE DIAPER
IS SOMETHING I FEAR, IT’S MAKING ME GAG
AND I’VE GOT ONE SECOND
TO GRAB A FEW WIPES AND TAKE A DEEP BREATH
AS I START THE CHANGE
A FOUL WIND STARTS TO BLOW

AND OH, IT’S SUDDENLY QUITE SMELLY
IT’S ALMOST MORE THAN I CAN STAND
BUT AT LEAST YOU KNOW
WHEN YOU SOMETIMES HAVE TO GO
‘ROUND THAT CUTE LITTLE REAR END
THAT IT ALL WILL END
IN A NEW DIAPER

A NEW DIAPER MAKES YOU SMELL MUCH BETTER
A NEW DIAPER FEELS SO WARM AND DRY
A NEW DIAPER IS WAITING IN OUR FUTURE
STANDING BY,
STANDING BY…