Lost in Translation

I was cleaning out the spam filter on The Peoria Cabaret Theatre Blog when I found these two comments.  Now, I am used to the overseas spam butchering the English language worse than a Chinese menu, but these two were just so special that I had to share them.  This…IS…the danger of trusting Google Translate!*

Submitted on 2010/12/14 at 6:09 PM

Alright Permanent,fine come immediate bedroom description pleasure well traditional afford distinction head as exist offence meanwhile description give mine outside investigation the recover improvement value vehicle engine army comparison different commit raise field similar television major driver increase directly only experience generally thank view silence somebody wave fully of concentration northern sign base solution before majority wash access extra this chair bag decade have outcome else dress allow examination procedure drop single average army sale maintain positive yeah answer purpose way study annual nearly report revolution importance current follow title

Submitted on 2010/12/11 at 2:59 PM

Quiet Historical,reveal anyway before information close reflect search red often resource sing fast conference danger relevant location human soon from recently track annual body order implication really almost cut football warn growth line actual experiment north throughout interested colour quite driver border floor accident foreign worry indicate send condition district collection manage expression yet master distinction solution row loan rely broad competition before less require search neither wait display fruit place must whole parent attack few assessment revenue investment including when bag leader husband wonderful little heat

It’s like a tone poem.  A word journey if you will.  It makes you wonder if this was coherent in their native language and lost in translation, or have I stumbled across two Dadaist superstars on the rise?

The first one I can see sort of a sexual theme going on, like maybe it was porn spam.  The second one seems a little more sinister.  I’m going to go with “The Terminator” retold in Dadaist style.

What are your interpretations of these fine poems?

*as spoken by James T. Kirk

My New Favorite Artist

I think I have a new favorite artist!  If you need a bit of cheer, I highly recommend you check out James Hance and his “Relentlessly Cheerful Art” site here.   The print above is his homage to a Calvin & Hobbes with the perfect title of The Kessel Run

 He also has a an adorable series of prints based on the Winnie the Pooh books by A.A. Milne and E.H. Sheppard called “Wookie the Chew”.  The best part is all of his prints are only $10!!   You can see more of his artwork here and even purchase his book “Wookie the Chew-The House at Chew Corner” for only $5!!  

How to Make a Syfy Channel Movie

 

I admit it.  One of my guilty pleasures is watching the original movies they show on The Sci-Fi Channel on Saturday nights.  (Or Syfy as it is now known.  I’m not sure what the difference is other than it is now worth 13 points in Scrabble.)  The top-notch acting, believable writing and breathtaking special effects never fail to bring a smile to my face.  (Dang, I almost got through that entire sentence with a straight face!)

As a budding filmmaker, you may ask yourself, “How do I make a Syfy Channel Movie?”  For you I present this guide to help get you started on your path to low budget, extended cable glory.

HOW TO MAKE A SCI-FI CHANNEL (SYFY) MOVIE

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Star Wars Toys That Never Made It

I found this gem online today.  It’s for the collector who wants to have EVERYTHING in the Star Wars Universe!  So far Hasbro hasn’t crossed THESE lines…yet!  I love the dark humor, but it’s the photoshop that REALLY makes it for me!  For more, including The Planet Alderaan and Smouldering Moisture Farm Playsets, see the original post here.

Lucasfilm Holiday Greeting Cards

Every Year Lucasfilm sends out thier annual Holiday Greeting card (like the one pictured above).  While I am not one of the lucky ones to receive  one of these treasures, I did find a gallary of thier cards for the past 30 years.   Here are a few more of my favorites from the past…

You can see the entire gallary here and the 2009 Holiday Card here.

I’m A Wreck!

(O.K. technically I’m a Wreckporter.)

Anyone that knows me has probably heard me pimp Cakewrecks as the funniest blog EVAH!  It never fails to bring a smile to my face and start my day off on a good note.

 Every time I’m at the store I can’t resist perusing the bakery case in hopes of finding a wreck worthy of this site.  Normally I leave disappointed, but one fateful night a couple of months ago, I found the HOLY GRAIL OF A CUPCAKE WRECK!  I immediately whipped out my cell phone and snapped a picture of it in all of its 1.3 megapixel glory.  I felt like I had spotted Bigfoot and I couldn’t wait to send it in.   

 I was beginning to fear that my wreck wasn’t worthy enough for the site, and that no one else would be able to share in triumph of finding the ugliest cupcakes ever.  Imagine now my joy when I clicked on the site this morning and saw my wreck there in all of its awful glory, made even better with Jen’s puns!

 Go see it for yourself (the last one on the page) while I wipe a joyful tear from my eye!  http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/10/sideshow-slideshow.html

 Thanks Cakewrecks!

His Balloon Was Fast, But Snark Is Faster

I made the comment yesterday during two hour ballon chase we were all following on cnn.com, “I bet he’s hiding in the garage and he’s gonna pop out soon and say SURPRISE!!

Now everyone at work thinks I’m psychic!

Falcon, the “Balloon Boy” is safe.  It may or may not (read MAY) have all been a publicity stunt by his batshit crazy dad that had us all fooled.  Thank goodness the snarklords of the interwebs were quick to put this whole thing in perspective!  Check out the great memes like the one above at urlsque.com .

Just in case you think Falcon puking during EVERY interview wasn’t bad enough, how about dad FARTING on the air with Diane Sawyer! 

I guess John Gosselin can be thankful that there are worse dads out there taking some of the spotlight away from him!