How to Make a Syfy Channel Movie

 

I admit it.  One of my guilty pleasures is watching the original movies they show on The Sci-Fi Channel on Saturday nights.  (Or Syfy as it is now known.  I’m not sure what the difference is other than it is now worth 13 points in Scrabble.)  The top-notch acting, believable writing and breathtaking special effects never fail to bring a smile to my face.  (Dang, I almost got through that entire sentence with a straight face!)

As a budding filmmaker, you may ask yourself, “How do I make a Syfy Channel Movie?”  For you I present this guide to help get you started on your path to low budget, extended cable glory.

HOW TO MAKE A SCI-FI CHANNEL (SYFY) MOVIE

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Star Wars Toys That Never Made It

I found this gem online today.  It’s for the collector who wants to have EVERYTHING in the Star Wars Universe!  So far Hasbro hasn’t crossed THESE lines…yet!  I love the dark humor, but it’s the photoshop that REALLY makes it for me!  For more, including The Planet Alderaan and Smouldering Moisture Farm Playsets, see the original post here.

Lucasfilm Holiday Greeting Cards

Every Year Lucasfilm sends out thier annual Holiday Greeting card (like the one pictured above).  While I am not one of the lucky ones to receive  one of these treasures, I did find a gallary of thier cards for the past 30 years.   Here are a few more of my favorites from the past…

You can see the entire gallary here and the 2009 Holiday Card here.

I’m A Wreck!

(O.K. technically I’m a Wreckporter.)

Anyone that knows me has probably heard me pimp Cakewrecks as the funniest blog EVAH!  It never fails to bring a smile to my face and start my day off on a good note.

 Every time I’m at the store I can’t resist perusing the bakery case in hopes of finding a wreck worthy of this site.  Normally I leave disappointed, but one fateful night a couple of months ago, I found the HOLY GRAIL OF A CUPCAKE WRECK!  I immediately whipped out my cell phone and snapped a picture of it in all of its 1.3 megapixel glory.  I felt like I had spotted Bigfoot and I couldn’t wait to send it in.   

 I was beginning to fear that my wreck wasn’t worthy enough for the site, and that no one else would be able to share in triumph of finding the ugliest cupcakes ever.  Imagine now my joy when I clicked on the site this morning and saw my wreck there in all of its awful glory, made even better with Jen’s puns!

 Go see it for yourself (the last one on the page) while I wipe a joyful tear from my eye!  http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/10/sideshow-slideshow.html

 Thanks Cakewrecks!

His Balloon Was Fast, But Snark Is Faster

I made the comment yesterday during two hour ballon chase we were all following on cnn.com, “I bet he’s hiding in the garage and he’s gonna pop out soon and say SURPRISE!!

Now everyone at work thinks I’m psychic!

Falcon, the “Balloon Boy” is safe.  It may or may not (read MAY) have all been a publicity stunt by his batshit crazy dad that had us all fooled.  Thank goodness the snarklords of the interwebs were quick to put this whole thing in perspective!  Check out the great memes like the one above at urlsque.com .

Just in case you think Falcon puking during EVERY interview wasn’t bad enough, how about dad FARTING on the air with Diane Sawyer! 

I guess John Gosselin can be thankful that there are worse dads out there taking some of the spotlight away from him!

It’s Hip to Be Round

Who knew I was so hip and ahead of my time?

It’s Hip to Be Round

Hiroko Masuike for The New York Times
 
Published: August 12, 2009

“This year an unexpected element has been added to the look, and that is a burgeoning potbelly one might term the Ralph Kramden…

What the trucker cap and wallet chain were to hipsters of a moment ago, the Kramden is to what my colleague Mike Albo refers to as the “coolios” of now. Leading with a belly is a male privilege of long standing, of course, a symbol of prosperity in most cultures and of freedom from anxieties about body image that have plagued women since Eve.”

 

Read the new York times Article http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/13/fashion/13POTBELLY.html

My Favorite Story From “The Onion”

Second-Graders Wow Audience With School Production Of Equus

January 25, 2006 | Issue 42•04

NEWPORT NEWS, VA—Second-grade students at Franklin Elementary School impressed parents, teachers, and fellow students with their recent production of Peter Shaffer’s Equus Friday.

Enlarge Image Second-Graders Wow Audience With School Production Of <I>Equus</I>Alan Strang (Kyle Keever, 7) prepares to blind a horse (Kate Piper, 7).

The avant-garde play, described by audience members as “adorable,” was originally produced in London in 1973. The story revolves around troubled 17-year-old Alan Strang, played by Kyle Keever, 7, and his encounters with his psychiatrist after he blinds six horses with a metal spike. The play focuses on the causes underlying a seemingly senseless act of violence, and forces characters and audience members alike to confront questions of responsibility and ultimate meaning.

“The kids loved it,” teacher and director Michael Komarek said. “Once they stopped screaming about horses getting their eyes gouged out and realized that it was just a launching point for more complex ideas about alienation from the modern world, they rolled up their sleeves and dug right in.”

Despite its truncated 30-minute length and shoestring budget, the production—which received a standing ovation from a sold-out crowd of 65 in the school cafeteria—attested to the resonant themes of Shaffer’s play.

 

Read the full story here.

G-FORCE!!

I was quite excited when I heard Jerry Bruckheimer was producing a 3-D movie called G-Force.   Being the old sci-fi geek that I am, I was sure it was going to be a reimagining of the classic 70’s-80’s cartoon Battle of the Planets!  MAN, did I love that show as a kid! 

The heroes of the show are called G-Force, five intergallactic teenagers named Mark, Jason, Princess, Keyop and Tiny.  They dressed in bird costumes and drove a fiery spaceship called The Phoenix.  The ship could also split into five separate vehicles that each member could pilot independently like Voltron.  I cannot tell you how many times my friends and I played “G-Force” on the playground!   Our favorite park had these gliders shaped like lions and they were the perfect vehicles for 5 year olds to save the universe in! 

We have Transformers movies and a GI Joe movie, and soon we will have He-Man and Thundercats movies.  I thought for sure Hollywood had finally reached this Golden Mecca of my youth, and was ready to introduce it to a whole new generation of kids… IN 3-D!!!!  I could not wait to see whom they had in mind for Zoltar, the androgynous, lipstick-wearing villain!   I wanted to see the new rubberized versions of those cheesy bird costumes, now with extendable wings like in The Dark Knight!

I finally saw the trailer for G-Force, and apparently this version is about guinea pigs or something like that.  Words cannot express how disappointed I was.  Jerry Bruckheimer, 20th Century Fox, Warner Brothers, if you are listening, the world is ready for the new BATTLE OF THE PLANETS!  Those of us that grew up with the show will come in droves, and we will drag our kids with us!   Think of all the merchandising you could sell!  Hmmm…maybe it’s time I start working on the screenplay…

Jane Austen…For Guys!

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Have you ever finished Pride and Prejudice and thought, “You know what this book needs is more zombie attacks!” 

Well now you are in luck!  Seth Grahme-Smith has reimagined the classic work with a new twist to spice up the “duller parts”.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance – Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!  will grace your bookstore shelves mon May 13, 2009.  It features the original text of Jane Austen’s beloved novel with all new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action!

What’s that?  Guys don’t READ Jane Austen?  OK, How about this…

Have you ever been forced to watch the movie adaptation of Pride and Prejudice and thought, “You know what this movie needs is a killer alien hunting his human prey!”  Guess what?  You too are in luck!

Elton John’s Rocket Pictures will produce a film called Pride and Predator. knightleypredator_l“It felt like a fresh and funny way to blow apart the done-to-death Jane Austen genre by literally dropping this alien into the middle of a costume drama, where he stalks and slashes to horrific effect,” his Rocket partner David Furnish tells Variety