I was quite excited when I heard Jerry Bruckheimer was producing a 3-D movie called G-Force. Being the old sci-fi geek that I am, I was sure it was going to be a reimagining of the classic 70’s-80’s cartoon Battle of the Planets! MAN, did I love that show as a kid!
The heroes of the show are called G-Force, five intergallactic teenagers named Mark, Jason, Princess, Keyop and Tiny. They dressed in bird costumes and drove a fiery spaceship called The Phoenix. The ship could also split into five separate vehicles that each member could pilot independently like Voltron. I cannot tell you how many times my friends and I played “G-Force” on the playground! Our favorite park had these gliders shaped like lions and they were the perfect vehicles for 5 year olds to save the universe in!
We have Transformers movies and a GI Joe movie, and soon we will have He-Man and Thundercats movies. I thought for sure Hollywood had finally reached this Golden Mecca of my youth, and was ready to introduce it to a whole new generation of kids… IN 3-D!!!! I could not wait to see whom they had in mind for Zoltar, the androgynous, lipstick-wearing villain! I wanted to see the new rubberized versions of those cheesy bird costumes, now with extendable wings like in The Dark Knight!
I finally saw the trailer for G-Force, and apparently this version is about guinea pigs or something like that. Words cannot express how disappointed I was. Jerry Bruckheimer, 20th Century Fox, Warner Brothers, if you are listening, the world is ready for the new BATTLE OF THE PLANETS! Those of us that grew up with the show will come in droves, and we will drag our kids with us! Think of all the merchandising you could sell! Hmmm…maybe it’s time I start working on the screenplay…